"A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for." ~John A. Shedd
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." ~Robert F. Kennedy
"Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at." ~Author Unknown
We discussed it at length, and decided the time was right. There is a long back story that goes into how we came to be at this starting place again, and how my greatest dream came to be wrapped up in a homeschooing lifestyle. I will touch on some of it. Thankfully Mr. Smith supports me 100%, a fact that makes me love him all the more, far more than I could have imagined as a newlywed. He deserves his own post, his own blog really, so that I have a place to record for posterity just how lucky a woman I am to be his wife.
Valentines Day Roses from Mr. Smith
Love you Sweetie!
But I am already digressing. I will reconstruct my post about pursuing the big dream. A number of years ago, our son Dash was in kindergarten, and melting down daily. We didn't know he had Aspergers yet. We fought persistently to get him up for school, not understanding why he hated it so much. Our son's happy spirit was being broken before my eyes, and I had no idea how to help him. (If you've ever seen the Disney movie "Spirit," it was not coincidentally Dash's favorite during this time.) At this point, God put some angels into my life. One of them was my friend Jennifer, who suggested I look into homeschooling. I'd never considered it before then. She happened to be a distance learning instructor for George Wythe College, and lent me a book about TJEd. Within a few weeks, I'd done some reading, prayed and pondered, and withdrew Dash from the public school.
Over the next six months, I researched all I could find about homeschooling, and more broadly, the different philosophies of education. With God's help, I now had a blueprint for the kind of home I'd always dreamed of creating for my family. Not a blueprint for someone else's home, but mine. And I'm not talking about architectural features. While our children's education was huge in my mind, it was clear that we couldn't undertake homeschooling if we didn't have good home management and a climate conducive to learning in place. It was this more basic need and desire of my heart that helped me decide that the TJEd methodology would be a key element of our paradigm moving forward. The DeMilles had identified numerous powerful home management principles, which provided me a solid form to build our daily structure around. And while I may devote another post to this subject, I won't touch more on it here. With a starting place and God's help, we were on our way.
[Having recounted much history, at this point I should apologize to family and friends who knew me during this watershed time in our family's development. I was exceedingly zealous in my excitement over homeschooling and TJEd, to the point that I'm certain I came across as condescending, even dismissive, to anyone who was invested in public education in any way, or felt to disagree with me on educational philosophies. All I can say is that we all must start from the place where we are, and that was where I was at. Thanks for loving me anyway.]
Home management doesn't come easily to me. My upbringing was a playground for growing big dreams. Our home and routine was often random and messy, but it was also a safe and happy place for me. I spent most of my youth trying to be just like my dad. A man of excellent character, integrity and off-the-charts intelligence, he fostered both critical thinking and a love of God in all of his 11 kids. As I grew, I should have devoted equal time to becoming like my mom. A selfless woman of practical wisdom, with the patience of Job, she spends her life loving those around her unconditionally. All of these qualities I've come to appreciate and envy in my adulthood. My parents raised me with the anchor of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When I got married, I had no idea what I was heading into. But I'm thankful for my parents, who taught me to rely on God.
I came to marriage with a good set of tools to help me succeed and grow. I'd learned the necessary skills like cooking, cleaning, organizing and whatnot. The stumbling blocks came in the form of depression and what I call child-induced ADD. From the time I got pregnant until I stopped nursing, my body's chemicals wreaked havoc on my emotional state. That means essentially for the first decade of our married life, I was in a persistent state of mental illness. Add to that the demands of children who need mommy --- right now --- all day long, and ADD happens. At least for me, and the result was not pretty. I simply couldn't get my skill set to work for me, because all I wanted to do was isolate myself in my bedroom. This is common with depression, and many women would have simply gone to their doctor and gotten meds to help. But I did not, and had (still have) great difficulty asking anyone but my husband or God for help.
So what makes me think I can dust off the dream and try again now? A few things. We've lived some, and learned some. We've done some therapy. We own a home again with space and land to put us all to work. (The previous owners planted 10+ fruit trees in our yard, four of which bear fruit.) And here is a key: we now live in a community where homeschoolers are plentiful and thriving. The support network and resources are amazing, and we will make good use of them. And we will add to them.
Public elementary school has been the norm now for almost five years. And we've been lucky to have our kids in three of the best schools in Utah. But I still bristle against the one-size-fits-all compulsory model. With my speech-delayed sons, the teachers can't even submit a course of action until they've had six weeks to observe my struggling child, and diagnose for herself the problem. A professional diagnosis doesn't speed up this process, in my exerience. Resultingly an IEP can't be created until half-way through the school year. The system is also biased against boys, who tend to be more kinesthetic learners (they need to be moving around to learn best). I could go on, but I won't. Ever since that long ago paradigm shift, I've yearned to live in a way that is congruent with my gut feelings about education and family happiness. And I am really excited to get started.
We withdrew our three middle kids from school a week ago, just as they were scheduled to go off-track. They celebrated Valentine's Day early, so it was a happy last day. I gave a gift to each of our kids' teachers, and thanked them sincerely. All excellent teachers, they do their very best for their students. I went out of my way to assure them that we approve 100% of all they've done, and that their performance as teachers had no bearing on our decision. Especially tearful for me was saying goodbye to Big B's kindergarten teacher. He began the year far behind the other kids, and has labored diligently to catch up, to please her. She has worked with and helped him advance his reading and writing skills greatly. Incidentally, Big B may also have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder (Aspergers is no longer an official diagnosis in the DSM IV.) The doctor who saw him recently told me he thought he had the mannerisms of other kids who have ASD or PPD-NOS.
I recognize that I can't do all things perfectly. I expect many more mistakes along the way, which I hope will be life-changing for the better. I don't expect others to understand, nor do I judge them for choosing a different course. I hope to be granted the same courtesy. And with this long-winded missive behind me, here are photos from our first few days of homeschooling:
Every night Daddy reads out loud from a chapter book to the kids. This week it is "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief."
Good morning, Sunshine! Baby Blues
Freckles making breakfast for the family: Scrambled eggs and Sausage
I decided it was time to work on my breadmaking skills. My sister Susan has a great recipe for soaked whole wheat bread. If you soak your dough overnight in an acidic solution, it breaks down the grain so that your body can utilize the nutrients and digest it better.
It turned out great! We gave one loaf away to our neighbor who has a habit of getting up early and shoveling our driveway and walkways after snowstorms. Did I mention he's in his seventies? Such a kind man, and the amazing thing is that there are many other men and women in the neighborhood just like him. When we moved in last summer, 10-12 men showed up to help, and the majority were healthy, fit, and elderly.
Baby Blues turned 4 on Abe Lincoln's birthday. He is a joy in our home.
A close-up of his yummy cake, lemon with lemon frosting!
Birthday presents.
Dash volunteered to put his work bench together. He didn't realize it would take hours. Lots of screws and anchors to secure, but he did it!
All done, waiting for Baby Blues in the morning. Dash loves his baby brother A LOT!
In the morning, a happy boy!
Dash's newly improved Lego creation.
Side view. Unfortunately my Bloggie camera doesn't do justice to the complexity of the vessel!
Dash
Our home and homeschool, which we call the Sorensen Academy, after my Great-Grandma Georgina Boletta Critchlow Sorensen Bickmore, a fine teacher. Died at the age of 105, when I was 17.
